He said we should go back to being close friends
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
"...I think we should go back to being good/bestfriends for a while... I guess you could consider it a break." I pretty much knew it was over. And if he left it at that, I'd be a lot happier right now. But adding in,"I could get back together with you...so don't go crazy over this, and don't go killing yourself and crying and thinking it's your fault, 'cause it's not. I really do care about you, I still care about you and I always will...but...I just need a break." made me believe that he would. When I got back to school on Monday, I didn't know that that same weekend he started going out with one of his other friends, with this girl who wouldn't leave him alone and kpet constantly flirting and insisting things with him, even though she knew about me. It came as a huge shock, because he usually is stronger than that, and the week before we broke up was AMAZING, as we were beginning to get more romantic/intimate with MORE touching/petting again and away from the stage where we looked like flirting friends after a few months. But I guess he was scared of hurting both of us cause we were both two of his very close friends to begin with, and decided that he should try things with her cause maybe he thought she was hurt more, and he started caring more and...or something. I don't know. It was extremely strange though, he's one of those honest never-wanna-hurt-anyone genuine people who would always come through no matter what. And like he was acting all happy aorund me and waving and trying to be nice and all, but I thought after 10 months of dating and being one of each other's best friends for 2 1/2 years, I thought he'd take some time to wait and see if I was okay before starting a new relationship. And when he did break up with me, he didn't even explain why. And it was just so strange!!
It's been around 3 weeks, and I really don't know what to do now... I want a closure conversation, but haven't been able to catch him at a time where his new girlfriend isn't LITERALLY stalking him, and it's been so weird. I really want him back... and he doesn't know how much he hurt me. But he seems so happy with her and it's honestly so weird cause he always complained about people with her personality-type (LOUD, obnoxious, laid-back, "emo"-ish, creepily clingy [She seems nice though, but honestly he used to complain about luke minded people all the time]), and he didn't even talk to me after the break up to see how I was or tell me that he was going out with her... it's just so confusing and unlike him. He's acting as if it was okay to not tell me anything at all, and go on so fast like I didn't mean anything...
But, we're still acting like best friends, which I'm assuming is a good thing.
It's scary though cause we've had "moments" lately. Like just find ourselves staring each other in the eye for several seconds and then we shyly look away and he tends to ignore me for a while after that. These unintended times scare him away from me, but it happens so often... even today, we found ourselves standing eerily close to each other, and he coughed and walked away. And he tried his best to ignore me when he's around her...
...I'm just really confused about what to do now and what all his ignorance mixed in with all these moments means. I'm not really sure what to do now...do I ask for closure or leave him alone or try rekindling things...help, please?
You deserve some closure.
So try to get some even if it is over the phone.
Don't try to get back together with him. He has a g/f so leave them alone.
If you do remain best friends, maybe you will get back together someday.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com