Flirting with the Guys

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
There is this guy i like but im kind of shy with guys im not really open to them so im kinda strict to them. But the guy that i like keeps on looking at me and everybody knows hes hot and him himself knows hes hot. He even looks at me when hes not suppose to ... i was at one of my friend's dance practices and he is in the same in dance ( i know him through that girl ) which is kinda of a problem cuz i know she likes him but shes trying to hide it.

going back to the main point when i was at the practice the dance was suppose to be flirting to the girl ur dancing with and looking at her instead he would look at me...the guy knows me and stuff through that friend and he knows my brother but u know we r not friends really and i want him to get to know me..but he looks at me alot u no..another time we were having this goodbye party from one of the people we know and he was there i was in montanas and the tv was on the ceiling so i was looking up then the guy stood up and stood right in front of me i pretended i didn't notice looking at me but i couldn't help but look and like we lookedd at each other for 6 secs or sumthin then he winked at me a very quick wink and turnedd his head! WHAT does that mean!?...

and that friend that she actually never introduced me it was at that banquet that i kinda intorduced my self but i didn;t my friend would talk about me to him as in im going to rehams u no but never introduceed me..

Anyways at the banquet my cell phone wasn't working so i asked him to use his cell and he was really nice he was like yeah sure where is ur bro do u need a ride if u need anything just tell me..and that was the 1st thing i remeber him telling me. One thing that was annoying was in the practice my friend that was in it she was sitting beside me and in front of me was my love he does the dancing with a stick its reaaaal cool hehe anyway she was pretending as if the stick was going to hit her which im the one that was suppose to be scared cuz im right infront of him.

OK i have to say it that friend of mine is like jealous from everbody she wants every single guy for her self..thats a problem..he like waved at me so cutley the other day and my other friend said she had like a disappointeed jealoys face..but what i don't get is hes not talking to me like hes on msn alot and im online alot and he never talks on msn and one more thing u know how people jump out when then end the dance its like ta daaa and the open their arms well the guy i like did that right infront of me and lookeed at me staight into the eyes while my fried was beside me he didn;'t look at her and i think he did it twicee...but he looks at me alot and i never have the courage to look a him really but YEAH!

can u help my condition! tell me what to doo does he really like me????!! plus there is this other guy i like but i think i love him cuz i use to get thoses really weird feeling when hes around and after it and stuff and now hes in another country and i want him to like me online through msn much cuz i hardly talked to him wat was between me and him is that i lost my lip gloss and he was looking for it for me and lol they guys were laughing at him becuase he was the only person lookin or sumthin and he let me listn to his walkmen and i hardly know him i added him to my list i usually say hi i want him to say hi tho!! help meeeeeeeeeee sorry for such a looooooooong email please help :) Advice
It sounds like you're having lots of fun flirting with two different guys and have crushes on both of them. Which is great! And they seem to flirt back which is also great. It also sounds like your friend is a little insecure and needs constant reassurance that she is attracting and being paid attention to - and that any guy who doesn't pay attention to her is upsetting because it makes her think she's not attractive. Which is sad and silly at the same time, because each of us is pretty in our own way, and you shouldn't need to be the focus of attention 100% of the time to "prove" that.

So first off, just accept that your friend is that way and that she will hopefully grow out of it sometime soon. Don't bother to get worried or upset when she acts upset, because you can't change her and for you to be upset when she's just being who she is is pretty useless. If she starts *actively* doing things to get between you and guys out of jealousy, she's not much of a friend at all and I'd talk to her about it.

But in the meantime, keep having fun and flirting! Have little chats with these guys when you can, build that connection. The way you really get to know anybody is to keep talking to them, and over time the connection builds. So keep flirting and talking with your guys, and have fun!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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