I kissed my married ex, now what?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My ex who is the father of my son had a fight with his wife over the weekend. He was physically assaultive toward her, which I talked with both of them about. She and I participate in a weekly activity together and are friendly, but not realy close. I asked him to come over and talk to our son about what had happened, because her daughter is in the same school and had witness the fight. I wanted my son to hear from him. Anyway, he came over and talked to our son and then asked to talk to me. We talked on the porch and he was becoming agitated and asked if we could go for a drive so our son wouldn't hear him. I agreed and we left. He was drinking and wanted to have another beer, so we drove out to the country and parked near the river. We talked for a long time about his marriage and the fight and our son. The he turned the conversation to our past and apologized for the first time for his verbal abuse in our relationship. I told him I had forgiven him a long time ago, and he leaned over to kiss me. I told him no, because he was married and drinking and I was not going to do something we would both regret. He accepted that and we continued to talk about life. He then asked me if I had loved him and told me that if I would have waited until he learned he could not treat me the way he did, he would not be married to her now. The he asked if he could kiss me. This time I didn't say no. We didn't go beyond kissing and "making out", but not because we didn't want to. I said it wouldn't be right. Now I feel guilty for letting it go as far as it did, and somewhat frustrated for not just giving into desire. Obviously, I am a little conflicted here. I also am dreading my weekly activity with his wife, and have no idea if they are together or still seperated. I want to ask him why he took me to that country road in the first place, but I'm afraid of the answer I might get. I don't want to be his tool to hurt his wife but I don't really want to know if that's what he was looking for. Do I forget about it and go about life as though nothing happened, by the way, I'm not sure I can. Or do I confront him? I have no plans of telling her anything. She doesn't need any more pain right now.
My advice is to forget it for the time being.
Nothing good can come from further romance and there's not much to gain from bringing up a one time activity.
I think he took you to the country road to talk, and then old habits kicked in and you found yourself kissing. Old feelings have a way of sneaking up on us at times.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com