Would it Seem Awkward or Odd That I am Contacting Him?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I apologize for posing another question within a few days of each other, but I was wondering about the 'contact' part of the advice given last time.
So, as a quick summary from my last question, my boyfriend told me he 'lost his feelings for me' and that 'he didn't think we should be together' because he got yelled at twice by my parents. And after 3 months had passed, I realized that what I did and what he said happened because we misunderstood each other. I didn't question him too much about how he is dealing with this because he gave the impression that he was fine...but in reality, he wanted me to help him through this. We needed each other the most this past summer, but he pulled away from me and I didn't have connect with him basically at all during the summer.
So I was wondering, would it seem awkward or odd that I am the one contacting him? Seeing as I was the one that was dumped and should he be the one to contact me first instead? I mean, I am scared to contact him, for fear of driving him away forever because I've pressing this issue onto him or something but I do want to explain somethings to him. I want to talk to him in person too, but I can't. We are both in first year University and he is 2 hours away AND my parents don't let me see him AT ALL.
Last time my friend talked to my boyfriend, my friend (who's a guy but my b/f knows he has a g/f) got snapped at when he talked about this issue too much. My friend only tried to reason with my boyfriend because he seemed to still care about me and he even told me friend to 'take good care of me'. But after talking for awhile, my boyfriend turned back to being cold and uncaring. So I was wondering, would it be a good idea for me to talk to my boyfriend about the misunderstanding, to explain about a few things, to see if his thoughts have changed and to see how he'd feel if my mom changed her mind? (Because I am scared that I WILL drive him away for good if I talked to him about this issue again and I don't want that to happen) Would it make it seem like I was 'desperate' and 'unrespectful' to his decision? And my friend is also wondering if it would be a good idea if he asked my boyfriend if he will talk to me and allow me to explain somethings to him thereby removing the pressure of me 'forcing this issue onto him'?
The crux of the problem is your mom.
You didn't mention in your last question that you were in college. This makes it even more unthinkable that she would be meddling in your love life. Have you neglected to tell the whole story about why she doesn't like him?
I don't think he will be receptive to your contacts unless you can get your mother on your side. You should be talking with her not him. Try to recall what her arguments have been against him. Write them down and then write a response to each one. Then when you talk with her (during the upcoming holidays probably) you will be on stronger ground.
As I said the key to the problem is not your ex but your mom. Deal with that first.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com