Re-igniting Old Passions

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I recently realized that I love my ex boyfriend. I saw him recently for the first time in a long time. I have broken his heart many times. I was young, 17, when I met him and I wasn't ready for a serious relationship. My mom seems to always bring his name up. It has been so long, but my feelings are very strong. I am thinking of writing him a letter, but I feel like the girl that called wolf. I might be disrupting his life. Does it hurt to try again! Advice
Well, young loves are what many people dream about. They remember all the great times and wish they could recapture that fun. So it could very well be that he thinks about you and wishes he could try again, now that you are both older and more mature.

I'd definitely write him a letter. That way he has time to read it, reread it, think about his own feelings, and then get back in touch with you. It's far better than say calling him or just going to meet him. Explain to him that you've grown up, you regret the times you hurt him. But you still care deeply for him and want to get together just to talk about your friendship.

If you start with friendship, it gives you time to get used to the new people you both have become. It reassures him that you're not going to dive into a relationship again and maybe hurt him again. He'll have time to enjoy just being friends with you, to learn to trust you again. And if things go further, then that's good for both of you.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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