I desperately want her, but can I have her?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I am 25 years old and work for a marketing agency. A couple months back, I hired a young lady to run a promotional team for me. As I have have worked with her and gotten to know her over the past few months, I have begun to fall for her. She is a beautiful, intelligent and genuinely good natured woman - truely one of the most amazing people I have ever met.
The two of us have casually flirted (smiles, light touches, compliments) and last week, I asked her to come have coffee with me at a local coffee shop. She accepted and we had a nice hour long conversation on a variety of topics.
I desperately want to tell this wonderful woman of my feelings for her and ask her out - there are two problems though. The first is obvious. Although she is just a part-time seasonal worker, I am technically still her boss. I value my job and do not want to jeopardize my career. Secondly, I do not if she is currently romantically involved with anyone. While she is very open to flirting and has made no mention of a boyfriend, she has talked about several supposedly platonic male friends. It seems as though she could be dating one of them, but if that is the case it suprises me that it has never come up in conversation.
I feel more stongly about this woman than I have ever felt about anyone. It is starting to cause me to lose foucs of the other things in my life. Please help!!!
First the easier part.
She almost certainly doesn't have a boyfriend or she would have mentioned him by now. Or if she does, she isn't attached to him much.
Now, the more difficult question is what to do about your boss-employee relationship. My advice is to see her more often until you are sure that you and she are going to be close enough to present a problem at work. If that happens, discuss the problem with her. She may be willing to quit her part-time seasonal job with your company in exchange for your companionship. If that is problematic, talk with your boss and see how he reacts to your dating her. If he is against it, then you will have to choose between your job and her.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com