I am confused...and i Just want him back
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
So i was with this boy for almost a few weeks short of a year. We were good together, he totally seemed into me and like he genuinely cared for me. And i believed that he did. In the beginning, about 3 months of us being into our relationship, he told me he was falling for me, and i told him likewise. Then two weeks later he broke up with me for no apparent reason. I was hurt and didnt understand why. But less than two weeks later he came back.
Then on we were again going well, we never had any major disagreements and were happy. He would tell me all the time i made him happy and he told me once again about three months after our first break up that he was falling for me. So we were going good and i began going on family trips with him and his family. He is from out of state so his parents flew me out to visit them. And his parents would tell me that they loved me and that i was apart of the family. Everything was going good, it was soo good that he eventually started saying to me "Mom says hi or dad says hello". And his mother even regarded herself to me like that. We met at college and he decided not to come back this year. So we were trying the long distance thing. And it seemed to be working, he seemed really into it.
And then two days before he was to come out and visit me he started acting strange. And when he came out, he was kind of avoiding me i could tell. When he went home, i knew something was up so I confronted him and told him if he didnt want to be with me he didnt have to. And so he finally broke up with me, but said he still wanted to be able to call me and talk. So about a week later i asked him if distance was the only thing that he had a problem with. And he said yes. SO i said, what would you think if i considered transferring schools so we could be closer. And he said it was not a good idea, that we werent a gaurantee and that we werent a sure shot. THen i asked him what were his feelings for me and he said he liked me alot, but wasnt inlove with me. That really took me by shock, becuase the way he had been acting, the way his family, especially his parents, put in so much effort to make me apart of his family. I really thought he had more feelings for me than that. And he said he really cared about me, that i made him soo happy, that he was blessed to have me. I just dont understand. So i just left it at that and left him alone. Its been two weeks since the incident.
I dont understand what went wrong. Before me, he had an ex who broke his heart terribly. She cheated on him. But i dont understand why he would hurt me. I did nothing but treat him good. I love him soo much and i put my all into our relationship. ANything he wanted i would do. I supported him on anything and he had told me that i was everything he wanted in a girl. So why would he give me up so easily? His friends told me he told them that he really cared about me and that he had fallen for me. But why would he say such a thing? He said he never had!
My question is...do you think he will realize the good thing he had in his life and come back? Do you think this is possible if he dates other girls and they treat him well too? He told me he was soo happy and i don't understand what happened. Please help. Thank you. Sorry this is soo long.
It is really not possible to guess whether he will change his mind especially so soon after the fact.
The longer the break the less likely he will be to change his mind.
Ask him if you can call him once a week for 15 mins to see how each other are doing. Be cheerful and don't talk about your relationship. This will assure you a regular contact and also allow him the space he needs. Perhaps he will soon realize what he has lost.
I hope so! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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