Confused after years of dating

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I've read all the questions under breakup issues and some helped but they didn't really extend to my question, I am also a little older than many of the questioners age ranges, so here it goes. I am or was dating a man for 12-13 yrs. He broke up with me by e-mail about six days ago but assures me that he loves me and cares for me. This all happened after a weekend that I went to visit him (he lives in another city) and gave no apparent signs of a breakup or any that I picked up on. He now will not respond to my requests to call me, text messages or e-mails. I think after being there for him for a majority of those years he should at least explain himself in person. I do not understand why it is that he is not calling me. I can only assume that he has done something that he is ashamed of and can not face me yet. The other advise that I have read is to ignore him as well and he will be coming back in no time. I love him dearly and miss him very much. I just do not understand why it is that he will not be a man and give me the decency of contacting me in person. My mother says that he is scared that he is so in love with me he doesn't know what to do so the easy thing for him was to break up with me. I just feel like he doesn't know I exsist anymore. I am confused, devastaded and very hurt. Can you explain to me why he is being a coward on this, should I wait for him or just move on. Do I ignore him is that how men think? Has he forgotten all about me? I am so full of questions that he will not answer.

Thank you for all of your help! Advice
I agree with your theory that he has done something is is ashamed of and is afraid to tell you.

Send him a hand written note explaining how hurt you are and how much it would mean to meet with him and find out in person what prompted his action.

Keep in mind it has only been six days since he broke up with you and he may need a little longer to feel comfortable doing this. Be sure to mention that you still love him and that you deserve something for all the years you have been together. Tell him you won't contact him again for a while to give him time to think things over, but that you do still want a meeting.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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