BF stll marreid, jealously even worse!!
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I'm not going to repeat the things I wrote in "BF still married, jealouly issues". Because so much is going on now. Last night I tried to talk with him and he told me not to ask him things he couldn't answer. Things like:
#1-When he says we are going to be together forever, what does that mean? #2- When he says I'm his Angel forever, does that really mean forever? #3- Does he think we will be together for the next year Thanksgiving? His answer to questions, #1,2&3, He said, I tell you what you want to hear, which was YES, because I don't want to hurt your feelings, if you want me to hurt you feelings I can. So, everything he ever says is a lie. He really is good at lying, lord knows he still lies to his wife let alone his stupid girlfriend(me). I must be a fool! I asked if him and his wife were buying gifts for each other for Christmas, thinking not, but to my NOT surprize he said yes. He then had no idea what was wrong with me. For people that are suppose to be getting divorce, they sure don't act that way. He defends her if I ever do say anything, whick I've learned to keep my mouth shut on that issue!! Does he defend me? Makes me wonder? She asked him that affairs last a couple of months and when was he coming home? To me that makes me think there is NOT any signing of any papers, what gives her that idea anyway, if they're suppose to be getting a divorce? Makes me think? How would he feel if my ex called me at least 6 or 7 times a day, then went and spent time with him (if we had kids which we don't),even got him something for Christmas, spent time with him while I gave him his gift maybe even getting a hug and kiss as a thank you for the gift I had given him? I know that my ex and I don't have any childern,(I'm unable to have children),my BF has 2 boys 5&6, but I really think that my BF should realize what he does has an effect on my heart. I know he is going through a lot, but he wanted to leave her, even with or without me. Or that is what he says. But he has been taking and then giving my heart back like it's a normal way to treat a heart. I love this man so D___ much,and all the love in the world would not keep him happy with me. I give him my all, if not more, and it still is't enough. I know I will lose him it is only a matter of time. If everything he has told me is a lie, then how do you trust what he says ever again? I just wonder what he tells his wife is going on? I guess it really doesn't matter, I'm not the wife, I just the one he goes to bed with at night. In this day and age I take that hurting people is a normal thing to do, I need to learn how! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!! (again) You know I feel alone, even with him and I living under the same roof, I feel in-love,sad,hurt,stupid,and ALONE! Is this life? Am I just TOTALY JEALOUS, ENVIOUS or is this normal and I just crazy?
No, you are not crazy.
You are reacting in a perfectly normal way to how he is treating you.
My guess is that he is also taking advantage of you financially... does he pay rent or for food? He has the best of two worlds. A g/f to have fun with and a wife to raise his kids. His ego is probably swelling.
Your problem is that he has you in a bad spot. You can't really tell him off because he might leave, but if you don't say anything you can't get your message across.
The key element in all this is her getting the divorce finalized. As I mentioned in your first question earlier this week, if she isn't going to do it then he should start his own proceedings. Work on him about that.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com