AFTER 15 YEARS
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I BROKE OUR ENGAGEMENT IN COLLEGE. AFTER 15 YEARS I WANT HIM BACK. WE ARE ACTUALLY TALKING. WE HAVE EXCHANGED PICTURES. HE THINKS MAYBE I AM JUST ENFATUATED. BUT INFATUATIONS COME AND GO MUCH MORE QUICKLY THAN 15 YEARS.
WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT WHY I BROKE IT OFF. HE WISHED HE'D KNOW BACK THEN WHAT HE KNOWS NOW. WE WILL MEET IN THE FIRST PART OF NEXT YEAR. I MIGHT ACTUALLY MOVE WHERE HE LIVES TO CONTINUE SCHOOL AND TRY TO SEE IF IT WORKS OUT AGAIN.BUT WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER YET. HE SAYS HE CAN'T PROMISE ANYTHING. OBVIOUSLY WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN SO MANY YEARS. I WANT TO KNOW HOW CAN I BE THERE FOR HIM AND TRY TO
BLOW AWAY THE MAYBE FEAR AND DOUBT HE HAS IN HIS MIND. I FEEL THAT PERHAPS HE MIGHT FEEL HE CAN GET HURT AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW. IN SUMMARY, HE INVESTED A LOT OF TIME FOR US. HE WENT INTO THE MILITARY AND HALF WAY THROUGH I BROKE IT OFF. WHEN I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM HE DIDN'T WANT TO TALK.
Here's how I imagine it will go. Just a gut reaction.
When you two meet again you will become very close again. It's been 15 years and since he is willing to meet you that means he has forgiven you and wants to try again. No one can tell whether it will work out. You should tell him that you are more mature now and better understand yourself and what you want. This will reassure him that you are not going to hurt him again.
Above all, be honest with each other each step of the way. That is a key element of a relationship. Share information, share feelings, and share affection (and that can be as simple as hugging, laughing at each others jokes or it can be more than that).
It is good you are going back to school.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com