Revealing my Past
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I have recently started seeing a woman after a long time. The reason I had stopped seeing someone was that while I was in Holland (3 years ago), I ended up sleeping with a call-girl and felt miserable about it. Of-course I used protection and also ended up testing myself for HIV a number of times in the past 3 years and I have no disease. But, I still feel miserable about it and I am not sure, if I should reveal this to the girl I am seeing.
I had a pretty bad breakup before that and to get over my loss, I ended up with this call-girl. It took me a few years to realize and come to terms with what I had done, and so had stopped dating. I went back to Holland last year for a visit again to test myself and see if I could stay there without calling a prostitute. And I managed to do that without any problems. SO, I felt I had overcome my weakness and had gotten over my insecurities etc. That is when I decided to venture out again. Now that I have been seeing this woman, I am facing this dilemma about revealing my dirty secret. Please let me know how I should proceed.
RomanceClass.com Advice
Everybody has dirty secrets in their closets of all shapes and sizes. Yes at some point you want to be fully honest with someone that you are serious about and planning on marrying. But you don't go and recite every single thing you've done to your new girlfriend on your first date. It's a balance of letting them get to know you.
So wait and see how things work out with this girl. You learn things about each other gradually. If it looks like she's really the one girl for you, then let her know, but also let her know it's in the distant past and no longer a part of who you are.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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