Being There for the Mommy
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend has a baby by her ex boyfriend, but he never calls to see how the baby's doing. I'm the one that's there for the baby. She calls me daddy. If he wanted to see the baby would she let him, or would she leave me to be with the baby's real daddy, even thought we love each other? I love the baby more then life itself.
I think that mother's want the very best for their children. If you are the one that is there, that is showing an active interest in her and her child, that you are the one she would turn to. "Making" a baby takes maybe 15 minutes and no effort at all. "Caring" for a baby is a life long effort and does take effort. You're the one there, making that effort.
In the end, though, only SHE knows what is in her mind. Sit down with her when you have some quiet time, and explain your love and fears to her! Explain that you want to be there for the family and worry sometimes that she has other thoughts. If she reassures you that she wants to be with you too, then trust her and work on making your relationship even more strong. She has a lot to worry about right now, and having you accuse her of wanting to leave wouldn't help at all. She wants you to be there for her, to trust in her and to work on the family.
Good luck! Babies can be a lot of work, but they are VERY rewarding.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com