Breaking UP

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half hears and known him for 10 he has always been in my group of friends. I am 21 and he is 23. He has always liked me and when I was about 13 I thought I liked him too. As time went on I got over my crush. But about three years ago during a truth or dare game he admitted to liking me I was embarrassed and didnít know to say. I ignored it and kind of forgot it. As time went on we would make out every now and again and he was really into me I eventually caved and started seeing only him. We were just hooking up for a while and then he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said no but he kept pressing and I said yes.... the begging was ok but not spectacular and the sex was ok... But I always found myself questioning us and weather or not I really loved him or wanted to be with him a broke up with him for about a week after a year and missed him so got back with him. We moved into together 3 months after that. After 6 months of living together I broke up with him and he moved out. It was hard but I was happy I started to miss him again and felt bad for hurting him, we spent about 3 full months broken up and then we started spending more and more time together I thought I wanted to be back with him so I begged him to be my boyfriend again at first he said no and after making him sure that I wouldnít hurt him again we got back together its now 5 months later and I am back in the same spot do I love him? Can I spend the rest of my life with him? We talk about are future but it scares him although he has told me he wants to be with me forever.... He isnít the most romantic person but he tries we donít really like the same things like I am social he is not! I really don't know what to do is it just me being nervous or should a break up with him. I really do not want to hurt him but I am wondering if I am not hurting him but hurting me... PLEASE HELP!!!



Please email my answer to Advice
All this breaking up can't be doing either of you any good.

You aren't sure you love him and he is afraid of committment. You could break up or stumble ahead like you are doing now.

My advice is to see a professional licensed counselor who can help you sort your way through these difficult questions.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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