I have Cheated Twice - Is this the last?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been in my relationship for 5 years and I have put on a lot of weight in this time. However recently over the last year I have lost 20kilos and am back to my normal self. I love the attention I get from guys (including my man), his attention is even better as I know it is genuine. This year I cheated twice with two different guys. The first was just making out (kissing and stuff) and I told my boyfrind about it and we worked it out, I honestly think it made our relationship stronger. 9 months later I cheated again after much tooing and froing in my head, and talking about it to the other guy, he also had a girlfriend but of only 2 months, it took about 2 hours for anything to actually happen, but when it did I was still not feeling right about it on some level. I did enjoy it maybe because of the secrecy of it all, we both vowed never to tell and it is unlikely I will ever see him again. I didn't feel as bad as I did the first time, I ended it and said I'm sorry I just can't do this, and he was ok with that, we went our separate ways. My boyfriend knows I was friendly with someone else and he isn't happy about it but is again very forgiving. I love him so much and cannot imagine my life without him at all. I want to stop this behaviour I like the attention from males but I do not want to get as involved as I have these past 2 times. I sincerely regret what I have done and while I was doing it the 2nd time it really made me think about everything, and that I don't want to lose my boyfriend ever. I just want to add one more thing that may give you some insight, my dad cheated on my mum, with several women over 25 years and they have only recently divorced, I knew about it around the age of 13. I have a feeling this may be one thing that is influencing my behaviour along with the weightloss and feeling hot and sexy again.
So I suppose I am asking ...
1. Is this the last time?
2. Have I realised what I have done is so wrong?
3. Will I turn out like my father? If so, how can I change that I don't want to be like him at all.
4. Do I give my boyfriend all the details of my last encounter and risk losing him? Or is what I told him enough?
Thank you for your help.
My advice is to take a break from your boyfriend.
Explain to him exactly why you are takiing the break... and it is because of the questions you asked me. If you have those questions, you should take a break and find out what you really want.
If you two really love each other then you will eventually get back together, but if not then now is the time to learn.
Good luck to both of you! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com