Becoming In Love with a Lover
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have had a crush on a guy that I used to work with for over a year. A few months ago he found out about it and after a night of flirting and hinting around, one thing led to another. Now when the girls and I go out on the weekends its like we just hook-up at the end of the night.
To make a long story short, we have been having casual sex for the past few months. The problem is that I really like this guy, he is a great catch, however he had just came out of a six year relationship, and it doesn't really sound like he wants any sort of a commitiment. I have tried joking around about it, telling him that I just want to have fun as well. But in the back of my mind I know that I am starting to fall in love with him.
So I guess my question is this: Should I risk losing the flirtatious, bed-buddy type relationship that we have now, and just tell him how I really feel?
And if so, how do I go about it without scaring him off?
It's funny, the question I just answered was the exact same thing. I guess it's the time of year for romantic thoughts :) I have a page here on going from friend to romance -
Definitely if he's on the rebound he will be afraid of making a mistake. So don't rush it. Just ease into it so he sees that he will not lose your friendship or fun - but that he'll gain the stability of a romantic partner. He obviously knows you like him and enjoy him. He knows you care. So there isn't anything to "tell" him. Just keep creeping in the romantic movies and dinners and such and let the feelings sort of wash over him.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com