Please help, b/f emotionally cheating?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
i am hoping someone can help me with my situation. i've been with my boyfriend now for close to two years. a couple times during our relationship i had noticed on the computer that he was visiting porn sites. these sites are not just regular porn sites, but escort sites that are local in our area. i mentioned it to him one time and he said he didn't mean anything by it and he was just curious, also he wasn't looking for anyone to do those thing's with. a year and some months go by and i noticed on the computer he did it again, same sites but also he was checking out yahoo personals as well as sexual chat rooms. i didn't say anything about it, stupidity i guess. but last night i noticed he was on a website called craig's list, and looked up erotic encounters. i tried talking to him about it, how i feel that is emotional cheating but he just kept bringing up hurts i've caused him. i never cheated or gone on those sites. he said "you hurt me, now it's your turn so deal with it." i love him very much and i've never denied him intimacy, and i know cheating isn't always about that. i have tried so hard to be there for him in every way possible, but it seems it just isn't good enough. sometimes i feel he is cheating. we will argue over something, then he distances himself from me for a while, and then all of a sudden he is nice to me again and acts like nothing happened. we are hardley intimate at all. what do you all think? am i over reacting like he thinks i am? is it just me that thinks/feels it is emotional cheating? if a man truely loves a woman do they still seek porn? thank you.
If it were just porn my answer would be different.
Porn causes troubles for couples but what he is doing is worse. He is looking for local women and ignoring you. These are terrible signs of how he feels for you.
You two need professional couples therapy and fast.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com