I have grown to love him.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have this guy who has been my bestfriend since 9th grade. We are now both 28. When I was a senior I met a guy who wanted to marry me and my bestfriend was going off to the navy. Well the night before my bestfriend left for the navy we went to a restraunt to eat and I gave him the news that I was going to get married and my bestfriend said please don't marry him, I want you to come with me to virginia and we will get married later. My bestfriend continued to say I will get you a ring, a car, whatever you want just come with me and don't marry him. Well at this time we had never shared anything other than a great friendship and good memories. I was not attracted to him in that way because he was very skinny and not my type. Well we have stayed in contact and got together one weekend and ended up being intimate after we had both been drinking. I now can't get him out of my mind and feel that I have fallen in love with him. After this incident he came back to our town and we met up one night and he was really acting strange around me and says now that it was because he was tempted by me and was confused because he was with another girl at the time and he did not want to hurt her. Well they are now fighting and I am going through a divorce and my feelings are so strong for him that I think of him constantly. How can I keep him around without running him off and wihtout my feelings pouring out everytime we talk. My bestfriend has also said that he used to be in love with me, but he does not feel the same way anymore yet by his actions I think he is but is just afraid to make something of it for the fear that we will get hurt. What should I do to handle this situation? I have told him that I do love him and that I never want to be without him even if I had to have him as a friend only, yet this hurts me. I just need some advice on how to handle this situation. Please help with some advice. My heart is in love but it is tied with a chain.. Thanks.
About all you can do is to continue doing what you are.
Don't pour out all your feelings to him, he already knows. It can't hurt to gently and simply remind him that you care for him very deeply. That shouldn't scare him away.
Keep up good communications, built up trust by sharing feelings, and given him affection in the form of compliments, hugs, etc.
Hopefully he will come around someday.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com