Long Distance Love
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I'm seeing this guy, but he lives 2 hours from me. I think we are in love with eachother, because we argue, but never fight and we dont have to pretend to be something we're not just to make eachother happy.
The thing is because we live so far apart we hardly ever get to see eachother, like once a week maybe, if that. I trust him, and I really want this to last forever, but I dont know if he wants the same thing. I'm afraid to ask him for a commitment, because of the fact that I dont want to scare him off, what do I do? I really love being with him and he is everything I've ever wanted in a guy, I just dont know if he feels the same about me. Thank you for reading this.
One of the keys to any relationship - and probably THE key to a long distance relationship, is full and honest communication. You have to be able to trust each other, to share everything, to keep that bond of the relationship strong. So it is really critical that you share with him that you're having these feelings. You don't have to come out and say "We Must Have Commitment"!! But the fact that you are AFRAID to talk to him about it is a real warning signal. Why are you afraid of talking to him about your own relationship?
Relationships can work fine for a while long distance, but after a while you will want to to actually be closer to find out what you guys are REALLY like in real time, not just in 'fun vacation / weekend time'. There can often be a BIG difference in how well you get along. So discuss ways you can make this happen. You guys must have vacation time from school or work. Holiday time. And there must be some way for one of you to take an extended break for a few weeks to a few months to be with the other. You need to start making an effort to really seeing if this will work and is worth pursuing.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com