is he trying to tell me something
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
My ex-fiance and I broke up 4 months ago, we were to be married two weeks before the breakup, we had alot of outside influence, but the breakup was ugly.
He became very bitter towards me, neither of us lied or cheated, his family interfered and alot of stress on the outside caused us to end on very bitter terms.
At first he was at least civil to me, the second month he became very bitter and mean towards me, he let my friends and sister know how much he hated me, I avoid all contact with him, but my heart is still there, I see him for who he was, the man I was in love with for 2 years not the bitter man he is now.
Lately he seems to be playing a game, he won't talk to me, but I get crossed signals from him, we have to work together twice a week, if he sees me at the bar he will come over and sit there but not say a word, I see him looking at me, I feel he wants to say something but he doesn't.
I heard he might be seeing someone, yet no one seems to know who she is or even seen her, I try to move on, I decided it was over and I just needed time to get over him, I completely avoid him, I ignore him at work and I don't pursue him in any way, why does he make it a point to be around when I least expect it, if he wants to talk why doesn't he just say so, is he embarassed by his immature behavior, or maybe he just doesn't know how much I still care, I can't let him know, I want to see how he really feels first, he has said some really bitter things to hurt me, is it only because he is hurting too and this is how he is showing it. Will he ever speak up and just talk to me, or should I just put closure and just let it go, even though he is doing what he is doing. I don't want to seem like an obsessed ex girlfriend, it's just that the moment I decide I'm done he comes around again.
Unless you want this to go on without closure, you are going to have to speak to him first. He seems incapable of doing so himself.
Tell him you want closure so you can go on with your future without him. Listen to what he says and respond accordingly. If he is still in his mean mood then cut off the conversation and take that to be the closure.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com