Normal Male-Female Friendships
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Is it normal for a married man, or a man that is not single to think it is ok to say i love you to female friends? Or to hold hands with another female friend or ex-girlfriend? especially if they are really close?
Is it normal for a married man, or man that is not single to watch a movie with a close female friend and cuddle up to them, and be very intimate with them without kissing or sex?
You say "normal" as if there is only one way for a guy to act and only one way for a girl to act :) Many guys are extremely cuddly. Many guys are not! Many guys say "love" to mean "care for fondly". Other guys feel that "love" is something you say to one woman, and one woman only, and only after you have rings on your fingers. So there is a HUGE range of feelings about these topics out there in the world.
I have had male friends who I have known for years and years who I truly cared about and "loved" - who I hugged hello and goodbye. Those friendships did not intrude at all on my boyfriend, who was the sole object of my romantic partnership. It's very "normal" to have male friends and female friends who care deeply for each other.
And some guys and girls are touchy. I have a group of friends who all hug each other hello and goodbye, who give each other back massages all the time and who just love to snuggle. But I have other groups of friends who NEVER touch each other and who would be very uncomfortable with a hug.
The important thing is how this man and his female partner feel about this. If they are a cuddly pair and accept this, it's fine! The cuddling is part of their world. But if they are NOT a cuddly pair - and then he goes off cuddling with others without talking to her about it, then he is crossing a line of what THEY feel is normal behavior. And that is really the only thing that matters.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Hitting on people