New Partner V's Child's Father
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I was in a relationship with a man 18 years my senior. Everything was going quite well. He was my first relationship (and my first and only love) since my youngest son's father. After 3 months, my youngest son's father appeared after being released from prison, for attempted abduction of both of my children. He scared the s>*&^ out of me and threatened to abduct and murder my children. As my new partner does not have any children, I was surprised, but grateful at how supportive and helpful he was. I obtained a protection order, and changed our identity completely. Unfortunately, since this has happened my partner has been pushing us away, he no longer calls unless he needs something, like tyres on his car or a friends phone number. He no longer stays the night nor does he invite me to stay the night. Unfortunately I fell in love with him prior to the young fella's dad showing up and now I have lost this. I would like to know how I can maybe get him to stop pushing us away and want to be part of our family again. Am I dillusional?
It is quite possible that your new b/f fears for his own safety. As unlikely as that may seem, it may influence his thinking.
Or he may be weighing the possibility of being a father for the first time at his age.
The way to improve a relationship is to have long, deep talks about important things, to share feeling which will build trust, and to show affection. Each is important in its own way.
Discuss your concerns with him gently and see how he responds if you dig deep enough. Hope these thoughts help you deal with this vexing problem.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com