Single Mom - the Dad Runs Off

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am a single mom with one kid, I got pregnant with my boyfriend for all I thought he will marry me, but when things ruin he just left me with lots of promises and sweet words, I waited him for a long long time, I gave birth without his presence and financial support,....

i know he loves me but I just really dont know why he left me alone.

I find a way to let him know that I already gave birth and its a boy. he is so happy, even his parents, brother and sisters. but feelings had change, he is so cold to me, we dont see each other because he is a military he use to go from one country to the other.He dont often call me to ask if Im okey, which really makes me feel all alone.

know what, I still love him until now, I am very will to forgive me if he will return to me. But when I was already fed up, I dont call him anymore, and surprisingly now he is the one who is looking for a way to communicate with me. Until now he didnt see his son yet, and he is eager to see him. He used to ask me if how do i do, he already shows a little care to me. Now I can feel his presence even in the telephone only.

Please tell me, does he still loves me? What will I gonna do, To makes him fall for me again? Will I still continue acting of being cold to him? even if the truth is Im not?

I really loves him despite of everything he has done to me. I hope you can help me clear up my mind because until now my heart still aches. Advice
You really have to sit down and think about what is best not only for you - but also for this young child that now depends on you for his health and happiness. What you NEED is someone in your life who is trustworthy, stable, who will be there when you need him, who will be dependable. This boyfriend of yours has already proven many times that he is NOT the person who can be those things.

He got you pregnant, and then took off and abandoned you when you needed him most. He doesn't bother to keep up with you and see how you are. He doesn't care about his own son.

Sure, something might have happened recently to make him think "Oh yeah, I have a son, he might be cool!" But someone who just has a whim to take action doesn't sound like someone you should risk not only your own life but the life and heart of a little child on. What if this boyfriend comes back for a few months, just enough for the kid to really become fond of him, and then takes off again? That would be incredibly cruel.

I'm sure your boyfriend was charming in his own way, to have you fall for him. But one of the biggest lessons we learn in life is to evaluate someone by what they DO - not just what they SAY. Your boyfriend has already failed many times in the action department. I would let him go, and find someone truly deserving of you - and your son's - love and affection.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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