Hi. My name is _____ and I have a snooping problem.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half. We just recently had our first daughter in April. Before we got married, I found out my husband was cheating on me. We broke up for awhile, and I forgave him...or at least I thought I did. I guess since he destroyed my trust so much, it lead me to a place that I just don't want to be. For awhile I didn't snoop...and then he got a little shady about some things, so I checked his email and found out he had been talking to his ex-girlfriend(the one he cheated on me with). He said it was all completely innocent and that she called him because she knew he was deploying soon and wanted to say goodbye. But what I found out is that they had been talking for about 2 weeks...and mostly after I had gone to sleep. Of course because of these issues, I continued to snoop and continued to find little things that upset me that he wasn't telling me about. (It's really a vicious cycle). Anyway, he is very mad at me because I continue to snoop...but my reasoning is that he shouldn't have anything to hide, and since I keep finding things, how do I stop??? I really want to stop, but I don't believe that he'll stop either. I really don't know what to do, and almost want to call it quits because of this. He wants me to just automatically trust him, but he hasn't earned it back since he lost it!!! How do we get over this problem that is tearing our marriage apart????
My first advice is to seek professional counseling which should be available to you through the military. If it is threatening your marriage then it is important enough to do this.
He hasn't earned your trust back so it is understandable that you are still snooping. And when you snoop you find stuff.
See a counselor... that's the best approach.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com