Asking Out a Friend

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Hi, I'm 16 years old and I'm in a lot of confusion lately. A lot's been happening in my love life and I don't know where to go so I'm hoping I can get some good advice from professionals. I liked this girl really bad this school year but it didn't work out and we stayed freinds but in the last few months we've even stopped that and barely ever talk. We didn't get in a fight but we've seemed to just drift apart.

But I'm over her and that's no big deal anymore just kinda seemed strange to me. Anyways there's this girl that I'm interested in and I don't know if I have a shot or not with her. She's a fairly good freind of mine, we're going into grade 11 and we've been in the same class since grade 8 but we never really were extremely close at the intermidiate level of school. But my freind dated her in grade 8 and I kinda helped it along at that time. She called him and asked him to a movie and I he agreed and I talked to her on the phone for a bit and she ended up telling me she liked him so I helped them get together and that night they were going out.

They broke up soon after and I never really heard too much from her for a while. In grade 10 we ended up in the same class in the second part of the year and she asked me to sit with her so I did and we got to be fairly close like we'd tease eachother and she gave me a hug even once and we'd poke eachother the usual young love kinda stuff.

The problem is I dunno if she just wants to be friends with me or she'd go out with me. I didn't really like her at the time we were doing all that stuff because I liked the other girl but as I said we were fairly close but just these past few days I think I've really fallen in love with her. I could honestly imagine myself waking up every morning for the rest of my life with her. I'd take a bullet for her in a second and I'm positive I would that's how much I love her.

We don't talk on the phone but we talk a lot online and she tells me stuff that seem to be more or less a little personal such as the new bikini she would buy, how she sometimes walks around the house in underwear that kind of thing. But again the problem is I dunno what to do?

I don't want to ruin the friendship we have but I honnestly think we would make a good couple due to our personalities being so similar and how well we get along and how fun it is to be together. I dunno if she'd go out with me because I think she's just so beautiful like not the best in my school or anything but in the sense overall in persoanlity and everything and I don't care if the best looking girl and the school asked me out I'd rather date this girl.

I don't consider myself to be some stud by any means but I think I'm just a normal guy. I'm about 5"10 or 11, brown eyes, brown hair, very athletic so not fat, not a muscle man but enough so that I'm not shrimp. I work out regularly and almost have a six pack but you didn't need to knwo that :)

I just sometimes feel a bit insecure because girls have rated me out of 10 anywhere from 8.5-4 so I dunno where I stand and I dunno if it'll matter to her. I kinda think I should ask her out but I wanted a professional opinion before I through my heart on the line which I'm willing to do for her.

So please tell me what you think I should do I really need some good advice.

Thank-you Advice
It sounds like you have a fairly good head on your shoulders, that you really like this girl because she's a great person to be around and not because she's the most beautiful girl in the school. So you should give her the same credit! Obsessing over what you look like or anyone else looks like is pretty short lived. Really, if you think about long term love, we all change shape and size TONS of times in our lives! So looks are about the least important thing you can possibly care about in choosing someone to be with. We all get heavier and saggier and droopier as we age :) But what we *laugh together* and have fun together about lasts a lifetime.

So start having fun with her! Don't just launch into a romantic date. Just be a great friend. Invite her to a fun movie as friends. Get back into those hugs hello and goodbye. I'm sure when you guys are having fun together and enjoying yourselves that you will be able to see very easily if she is enjoying those hugs and wanting more.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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