its over but im still not over it..

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
i met my ex and we began dating at the age of 15.he then moved interstate,so we lost contact,but got back together after he returned.We were so happy together,and got engaged.However,during preparations for the engagement,his parents were acting strangely,but they were fine before that.We got engaged,and he said he had to move interstate again to work,and make money.while there,we argued,but they wernt major..then one day, out of nowhere,his sister called me and told me me and her brother were breaking up!!i had no idea,i tried calling him,but he kept saying it was his parents..his parents came over the next day and ended the engagement.a few months later we got back together,in secret,as his parents were very controlling, but it became an on/off relationship.he was also starting to use illegal substances,and it was straining.After 8 months,in june,i said we could only be friends,even though this killed me,we stayed talking,hooking up occasionally.Of Oct 05, i said i could not handle it anymore,what witht the druga and on and off again,and ended everything we had, even though in my heart i felt he was the one,and even though he was telling me he loved me too much to lose me.He never called,and neither did i.I then heard from his sister he went overseas,in jan 06.then one month later i heard he was engaged to a girl there!!! he is now back from overseas,and its been almost 2 yrs we broke up our engagement,and 1 yr we broke up officially.I just cant seem to get over him,i think about him constantly,i have met other guys but my heart doesnt do the same flip flops it did when i met him.I still have photos of us,and love letters he wrote me, i cant get myself to throw them away, and its killing me that im this way, but i dont know what to do,or how to get over him..i know hes engaged now, and when his fiance comes he will get married,but i feel in my heart he still loves me (its crazy!). I want to get over him,and meet someone like he has and be happy,but im worried i never will, that i will meet someone but never be happy,because i am living in the past..please help,its got to the point where i am still asking people about him,and i know its wrong but i dont know how to stop..he doesnt know i feel this way, but i hate feeling this way,and i want to move on and be happy... Advice
The key to all of this is realizing that he doesn't love you anymore.

Once you recognize that as true, you can move on better. You may have to wait until he is married before you will accept it, but accept you must at some point.

At that time you will feel free and be open to new relationships. Most everyone runs into this problem during their life and the answer is always the same... forget him and be happy he is happy.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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