A little bit of truth, a little bit of love
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
To set up the situation, i'll begin with a general overview of the problem.
My best friend (or second-best, it doesn't matter) was going out with this girl around 7th grade. She'd moved here from another city, and they got to know each other. After being together for about a year and a half, they broke up at the 8th grade closing dance. My friend was crushed.
And here begins my problems. While my friend was dating her, our group got pretty close, and we really got to know each other. I started touching her in a friendly kinda way. We hugged for greeting and she flirted with me. There was some feeding during lunch in a playful way, but I never kissed or had a romantic ...time with her. But after the break-up, me and her started seeing each other as lets say... friends with benafits. First time we kissed was only a few weeks after she broke up with my friend. I knew that my old guy friends would all hate me for breaking the "ex's rule," and might never talk to me again.
Now, me and her are together. I love her, she loves me. Not publicly, and we don't hang out in groups with my other friends anymore. but her brother's found out we've been making out and is threating to tell my friend about it. I know I have to tell him, but i don't know when or how. I also don't know how far he'd let us go before he'd turn the group against me. I think he's still in denial or trying to forget about it compleatly. The girl now goes to another school, so there no real interaction at school. But i'm sure that if we went ...farther, he might not like me too well.
In summary, The main things i'm worried about are:
how to tell my friend,
how to let my friends know without ruining the rest of my high school cerear,
and wether its ok to go... farther with your best friend's ex.
Thank you so much!
The best thing to do is to be up front about it.
Ask your friend how he would feel about you going out with his ex. Hopefully he wouldn't mind.
Then ask your friends individually how they feel... and especially tell them if your best friend doesn't mind.
If you ask everyone you will probably get different answers and you can honestly say that you asked around and some people said ok and some said no.
If everyone is against the idea, you might reconsider your relationship with her.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com