Over him but still hurt
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
About 5 1/2 months ago I started seeing one of my friends. At first it was just sex but then we started spending all of our time together. We never had the "talk" so our friends always joked around how we were non-boyfriend/girlfriend. I started getting attached to the relationship and wanted something more out of it. I didn't really want anything to change, I just wanted the title for some sort of security that he wasn't messing around with anyone else. I had a talk with him about it and he said he didn't want a title because he thought it would cause extra pressure, but he promised he wasn't seeing anyone else and that he didn't want to. A few days later one of my friends died in a car accident. I called him first but he was at a bar with friends and said he would come over later. He never did and then I didn't hear from him for about a week. I was really hurt that he wasn't there for me, not just as someone I was "with" him, but as a friend. I think it made the healing process harder. When I finally called him about week later he asked me to come over. He told me that he didn't think we should see each other anymore because he didn't realize how serious it had gotten. That I was still one of his best friends and he cared a lot about me but we couldn't be together. My pride was hurt but I was oddly ok with the fact that we wouldn't be together. I think that maybe I pushed the realtinship issue cause I knew he would say no, and that maybe I wanted out of it. The next day I met the brother of a girl I work with and we hit it off. We've gone on one date and I had a blast, I had also hung out with my friend and everything seemed fine. I found out last night though that he is getting ready to go out on a second date with a new girl and I was really upset. I don't want to be with him, the realtionship really was unhealthy for me and I was hurt by some of his actions, but I still don't want him to see anyone else. I told myself it was because I didn't want him to hurt another girl but I don't think that is really it. Am I just being selfish and petty because I don't want him to start dating? Is it an ego issue? I'm confused and I hate feeling like this.
It is sort of an ego thing.
It isn't unusual to be jealous of someone you dumped. It's just human nature.
Don't worry too much about it and it will go away. Enjoy your new guy.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com