Backburner?Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Hi, I need help on this one. About seven years ago, I broke up with my highschool sweetheart due to her lies, cheating, etc... I was single and most of my friends had girlfriends. One of my friends would go out with me when he had a chance or gets in fights with his girlfriend which they were engaged just to go out with me. In the meantime, my friends girlfriend and I became close since she was helping me get over my ex. One thing lead to another and we became best friends. My guy friend was cheating on her but I never told her since it wasn't my place to tell her. He would tell her he was going hunting for the weekend but wasn't. When she asked him what she was supposed to do all weekend, he would tell her to call me for company. Her and I would have the best time together. We both enjoyed each other's company. They would include me on everything they did. Well, I one day got tired of her crying on my shoulder everytime he did something. I told him she was too good for him and he didn't deserve her. That ended my relationship with him but her and I remained close. Then one day, she told me that she couldn't talk to me anymore and she said she loved me and always will have a special place in her heart. I was torn apart by this because I felt I lost my bestfriend and someone who I have always loved since I met her. Months go by and she called me early one morning to tell me she busted him cheating on her and she was coming home to stay at her moms house which this happened around the Christmas holidays. She left him soon after that. We hung out together and had the best time. I felt like I was in heaven but had always wondered if she would get back with him. This went on for a year, but we never became girlfriend/boyfriend even though I wanted to. She knew how I felt about her and that I would do anything for her. She was perfect in my eye's. Anyways, he called her up one day and wanted to see her and to spend the day with her. She asked me what to do and I told her to go with her heart since I have been there too. So she went and came back that night and said too many things have happened since. Very next week, he sent her flowers and wanted to see her again. This time, they got back together which I can't blame her since I took my ex's back a thousand times. Once again, she told me she couldn't talk to me anymore for them to work it out. Once again, I was torn from the news. On top of that, I was laid off my job of five years with the company. I was depressed since I lost my bestfriend/lover,etc... Since they got back together, they got married. She called me out of the blue to tell me she wanted to see me. I have always had a weakness for her and said yes. She came over and we talked. She said they were going to start trying to have a baby soon since she was getting older. Anyways, since that, she now has a two year old and has called me everyday since. We still have this connection when we see each other, sometimes soo bad we can't trust ourselves. Bad thing is, I have nothing to lose since I am single still, but she doesn't even feel guilty when we do something we shouldn't. She doesn't know why but just says because she knows I love her with all my heart and she feels the same. My question is, why does she call me everyday and every now and then want to meet me when she can? Yes, Im still crazy about her but my heart hurts because I can't be the one to take care of her. She has told me upfront that her husband is her soulmate and she loves him with all her heart. She tells me she loves me and I will always have a special place in her heart. I believe we are mean't for each other but I guess not right now. I can't keep waiting for her but im scared not to be there for her. I have always been there for her. She knows I will meet someone one day and keeps asking me if we will always remain friends like it is. Please give me your input on this story on what you think it is? Oh, he still gets drunk on weekends while she takes care of the baby. Hope to hear from you and sorry it was long, had to explain the situation.
Your email wasn't too long.
You've invested a lot into this woman. You love her and she says she will always have a place in her heart for you. But her husband is her soulmate.
You might want to ask her if she would marry you if something happened between her and her husband. This should provide you with a lot of important input.
You run the risk of always being in this situation and never fully happy. You should seek out some other women to help move yourself in that direction too.
You are too young to put your life on hold.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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