I just want to be able to see her again, but not romantically.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
One of my close female friends has had rough life when it comes to guys. One of her past boyfriends did something terrible to her. I cant even mention it on this site. This has caused her to not trust guys period.
Anyway we are pretty close and we even tried dating each other a while ago but events happened that put an end to any romance.
After not seeing her for a few months due to each others work commitments we organised a day to catch up. It was a good night out. However seeing her caused my romantic feelings for her to return. I tried not to let them show concerned that if she knew that I still had feelings for her she would think that the only reason I wanted to see her was so I could try and start something again. I didnt hide my body language well because she txt me a few days later asking me if i still had feelings for her. I replied yes. She told me she had a boyfriend. I felt a little bit heart broken but overall I accepted that fact.
One saturday night I got a txt from her telling me that she was wasted and was wondering what I was doing. She then txt me telling me how she just wanted to hug & kiss me & never let me go. I honestly wanted to believe her but she was drunk.
I txt her the next day asking her if she was serious or was it just the alcohol talking. She replied by saying that even though she thought I would be an awesome boyfriend, she cant force herself to like me in that way. I replied by saying that even though I still had feelings for her, I was her friend first and would stick by her no matter what choices she made. I told her how hesitant I was to tell her my feelings, & that there was no hidden adgenda in my wanting to hang out with her. She replied by telling me that she lied about having a boyfriend and that she didnt trust guys at all because of the crap they seem to put her through.
Even though I have feelings for her I just want to be her friend, however I get this feeling that she thinks i'm only after her body. I like hanging out with her, she is fun to be around and good company.
Should I try & keep in contact with her? We had this txt session a few days ago but I havent heard from her since & i dont know what to say to her in order to break this silent treatment.
I just want to be able to hang out with her every so often.
She has a birthday coming up. Would it be a bad idea to contact her then?
I'm pretty confused.
RomanceClass.com Advice
As long as you are willing to only be her friend then go ahead.
But if your agenda is becoming romantically involved then she will recognize it and shut you out.
Just let her know that while you are attracted to her, you really are interested in hanging out with her from time to time. She should understand that and perhaps agree to it.
Good luck! George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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