I am 99% sure.. but simply can't trust!
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been with my partner for about 9 months now and I love him so much. He tells me that he loves me so much too.. but I seem simply unable to believe it! Every time he goes out.. the worst things run through my head.. ranging from him cheating on me, to finding somone else.
I have always been a confident person and I do very well in life.
I had a previous 9 year relationship which I think is the main cause of the problem. I was not aware how much cheating my ex was doing until we split up. I seem to be transferring my abuse during that relationship onto this one.
I know he loves me alot. I have never had such emotions for someone like this before either but I can see it driving us apart.
He has been so sweet though. He has not gone out. He has avoided contact with certian people, he has given me his phone to check and PC to look at. Short of me attaching a camera to his forehead and watching it all day, I don't think there is anything more he can do.
I am also aware that if I keep pushing him into a box, he will end up rebelling and this will fall apart.
I am 99% sure that he is an honest loving person but the 1% fear is all comsuming.
He has volunteered information about his past which does not always paint a pretty picture, but as he says, he did not HAVE to tell me things.
So my question is, how on earth do I stop myself from destroying this perfectly good relationship. I know I will probably have the same problems with anyone else in future too!
I read everything here. I mean everything. I have tried so many things but I am being consumed by feelings that I have NEVER experienced before (I am 30). Please please point me in the right direction.
You need to develop that 1% into something positive instead of negative.
Learn about trust at the following website. It's long, but will do you a lot of good:
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com