Two Friends and One Girl

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I really love this certain girl. My best friend loves her too. They talked and she gave her mobile number. I wrote her a letter and she messaged my best friend that it was funny. My best friend torments my day by always telling me or lets say teasing me about the girl. I cant have a complete day if I dont see her or if I dont say hi to her because that is the least i could do.

My best friend doesn't want me to send the girl a message. He said if I message her and if she decides to message me I should throw my mobile phone. The girl is older. What should I do? People tell me that there is no point for telling her my feelings and that also goes for my best friend. But, my best friend still told her and got accepted by her. I told her my feelings also. I dont know what to do anymore.... What should I do? Advice
I really don't think this guy is your best friend. A best friend is someone who cares a lot about you and how you feel. This guy is actively trying to get a girl that you care a lot about, and is actively trying to get you NOT to talk to her so he has a better chance with her.

It doesn't matter that she's older. Lots of older girls like younger guys and visa versa. That's an ancient thing from the middle ages, that the guy has to be older. But what DOES matter is that your friend is actively interfering with you.

It is completely up to the girl which of you she likes better and which she might want to date. It sounds like she is having fun chatting with both of you right now. So I would have a long talk with your "best friend" about what it means to be a friend ... and I would have fun flirting with the girl but realize it's not love right now - it's a crush. Love is when you truly know someone inside and out, know the bad and good, are with them a ton and accept all they are. A crush is when you really want to GET to know someone well enough to love them. So enjoy the crush and see how things go!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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