Trying to Keep Her

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I messed things up. She wants to leave me. What can I do Or say to keep her. I did not cheat. I just screwed off time that I should have been loving her. Advice
If she has been feeling neglected, you have to prove to her that you value her and care for her and that you didn't REALIZE she was feeling neglected. Yes, you were wrong to neglect her. But she should have TOLD you when she started feeling that way - and asked for you to change. For her to just bottle up her feelings until they finally explode and she says "sorry I'm going" is not very good of her either.

So tell her that now that you see this is an issue, you're going to actively work on it. Tell her concrete ways that you will do things differently. Suggest fun activities you guys can do together and start doing them! Don't say "someday we will ...". Take her for walks. Take her to the movies. Have a special dinner in. The more you can actively show her you mean business, the more that she might believe you.

But also make talking a PRIORITY. The most important thing you can do in any relationship is talk about issues. She needs to BRING UP her feelings the next time this starts to happen (about anything, not just neglect). She can't keep them all inside and expect you to just know.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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