I wan't to get a closer friendship
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hi George, I've written to you some time ago about I girl that i love, even though she only considers me as a friend, and not a very close one.
She alredy let me done once, when I shown openly my feelings for her, (I've alredy told you about that, but as you've got a lot of people to advise, you might not remember every of them) so you told me to try and become a best friend, I recognize it as a good advice, but hings have happened since then.
Since the hollidays started, we've become closer, adn we usually hang out, with another friend of ours, but she (our friend) has gone away in vacations, and now we don't see each other so often, we used to be with each other all days, but since she went away (2 days ago) I haven't seen her.
Some other day,in a birthday party, she met a boy, who we both know, and is a long time friend of hers, and they were very "entertained" with each other and they ended kissing each other, right in front of my eyes. I pretended it didn't bothered me, but it did, I just could bare that.
I actually got over it, I think it was just a one night stand, and that it hasn't ment anything to her.
So, now that I've told you what's happened till now, let's get down to the point, my current "goal" is to get a closer friendship with her, such as emotionally as physically, I know I can trust her about my feelings (not the ones towards her, since that made her get away from me once), and I want her to trust me about her feelings to, I just don't know how to make her to do that (she usually keeps things for herself, only tells it to her closest friends).
As to physically closer, I don't want to be overbarring, I think that a kiss in the cheek hello and goodbye would be nice, but I don't know if she would be confortable with it (she and the boy that I mencioned earlier do that) I just wan't to take things step by step, since I don't want to lose her, I don't know what I could do if that happened.
Should I ask her before I start increasing my physical contact with her, or should I just try and watch her reaction?
As for her trust, I just don't know how to get it, it isn't easy for me to be just a friend of her, altough I can control the emotions I show, so that she doesn't know that I still like her as more than a friend, it's hard for me, how can I get her to get closer to me, and to trust me about her feelings and emotions?
Sorry for this being so big, thanks
It is hard to develop trust while you are hiding your feelings for her.
So perhaps you should let her know just a little bit more about how you feel. Maybe you could tell her that some of your earlier romantic feelings have not entirely gone away but that you don't want to offend her by letting them show.
She should understand that and respect it.
You could also ask her if you could have cheek kissing like she does with the other fellow.
This is not an easy thing to figure out.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com