Growing up together and ruining friendships for a kiss.
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I have a friend who ive known for over 6 years. I will call her J. Recently, J started dating one of my friends who i will call F, and while this was happening i also happend to have a girlfriend. There was a point in my life where i had a crush on J, but that is basiaclly dissolved by now. I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 months just two months ago. And J and F broke up just days ago. My problem is is that we slept in the same bed and mutually kissed with out thinking. My friend is furious and think i betrayed him and i really dont know what to think about the J. We where always really close, and always talked, but it never crossed my mind that we would ever kiss. J tells me later that the reason she kissed me is because she missed F, and we where both lonely and vunerable. I hate my ex, so this is not the reason for me, nor does this reason satisfy my desires. It just lowers my self esteem and make me feel bad. I have a sneaking suspision that a friend of her dilluted her into bealiving this is the reason though. Her friend came to me before anyone discussed it directly with her other then me and asked me how i could take advantage of her. I bealive this influence is forcing her to bealive certain things. Basically there are 2 main questions in this very complicated situation. Number one, F had yelled at me at the top of his lungs in anger and said some very hurtful and vile things, should i patch up the relationship between us, or let it go away? My second question is what is going through J's mind? Is it possible that she could have done something like this with me after knowing me for 6 years and being close, talking nearly on a daily basis? I feel used and hurt. I am wondering if physcologically it is possible she might like me but be to afraid to admit it or come to terms with it? Or maybe she was telling the truth and she just missed F and came to me for comfort. I can really use the advice to see what you guys think, thanks.
Yes, you two messed up by kissing just a few days after the breakup.
I think J was telling the truth about why she did it and I think you did it out of friendship.
The real big problem is with F who is mad at you. Best thing to do is to let some time pass and then try to patch things up with him.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com