Four year breakup
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been broken up with my exboyfriend for about four years. And I still have found a way to hold onto this dead relationship. We dated for about a year and a half. But we have been apart for longer. We have both moved on after a painful breakup and I feel that at times both of us find ways to let go of eachother. I moved away to go to school and I spent the past 6 months in Australia. I find that when I am away from my hometown, I can be over him, He wont overpower my thoughts, and i see myself genually allowing other men into my life. But as soon as I am forced to come home for the summer, i fall right back into the weak mindset. Knowing that he lives a block away is hard for me to cope with, as well as the fact that my small hometown reminds me of us being together. So i call him off the hook like the "crazy ex girl friend." Or we try to hangout and it always ends in a weeks time. Bc there are so many bad hurtful things we have to done to eachother in the past that neither of us can get over. So my question is how do i truley move on? Everyone says i need closure, and the true problem is that i have always allowed this relationship to linger. I know i need to cut all ties with him. BUt i cant find the strong mindset to not call him on a lonly night. How to do let go of my past and allow myself to truely move away from my exboyfriend?
I am sorry you are in this situation.
My best guess is that you are hooked on the drama of getting back with him but it not working out. Otherwise you would have been over this long ago.
My advice is to find a professional counsellor to help you figure this out. It will be money well worth spent. You can't get an insightful answer on the internet because it takes time to get to the bottom of these problems.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com