Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi, i was with my ex for five years before we broke up. During that time i didn't really show her any affection. I knew i loved her and knew she loved me, but i was too imature to be in a relationship at the time(we met in high school). She really helped me get through a lot of things and i ended up going to college, but i still treated her the same way. By this i mean holding her hand, going to her families parties, and just treating her like she should. During all this, i would find out that she was talking to another guy. I knew it was my own fault and stayed with her. But after that i became really jealous and kept on treating her the same way i had before. Well, to make a long story short we broke it off about six months ago but still talked and were intimate. Basically we were still together, but i didn't label her as my girlfriend and she knew that. She stuck by me but then about three months ago she met someone else and he is now her boyfriend. At first she wanted to stop talking to me but i kept calling her because i still loved her and wanted her back. It is weird how you realize what you lost when it's gone. Anyways, the first month she was with him we talked on the phone a lot and she said she was confused, and that she still love me and she had doubts about her boyfriend. Then we still kept in touch and did favors for each other and would talk to each other about a lot of things like we usually did. There were a lot of instances where she seemed like she wanted to come back to me but was scared that i wouldn't change. Then one day i got her to go out to dinner with me and she saw how different i was and liked it. But i could still see that she was scared to come back. One day she went with me to the store and we held hands and hugged, and at the end of the day we had sex. I really feld like i was getting her back. Two weeks ago, she went with her boyfriend to visit his parents and came back telling me that she feels like she wants to marry him because he treats her very good and because things are really good between them. she says she will still be there for me and talk to me, but that we can't hang out anymore. i understand where she is coming from but honestly feel like we could still work out.i feel this way because she sometimes gets in these moods where she knows she loves me and then she feels like she should stay with her boyfriend. What should i do? i care and love her a lot. and love having her as a friend because she is really the only friend i trust. Should i stick it out and see what happens or should i stop talking to her. We have an agreement that i won't call her but she can call me. And she still does.
Sorry you are in this situation.
When she calls you continue to tell her you love her and want her back but don't get overly emotional since that might turn her off.
Give her affection over the phone by calling her "sweetheart" or "honey" and tell her how pretty she is and how attractive. Since you have had a problem with expression affection, this should make things better.
Ask her how her family is and pay attention to what she says.
These are positive steps you can take to try to win her back.
Also, try to convince her to let you call once a week for 15 mins. so you can see how she is doing.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com