I Keep Coming Back :(
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Iím really sorry for the long message. Iíll try to make it as short as possible :P. And please read everything, even though I know that you are busy with other stuff.
We broke up in March and it has been one hell of a tough few month trying to move on. Near the end of the school year, I kind of confessed that I still had feelings for her and that I really want her back. Didn't turn out so good and I kind of realized that I wasn't thinking straight and apologized and explained my actions to her even though along the apology and explanation, I still said I wanted her back. The thing that confuses me is that after we got through that talk, we ended up talking like a couple would on the phone (the nicknames, the "I'll let you go to sleep", "No I'll let you go to sleep" talk). Like I mean we just decided to not get back together again and we do that like right after which really confuses me.
Then we went to our high school prom together but the limo wasn't what she expected so she made me feel bad by like saying she hated me and stuff (jokingly) but it really hurts because it was supposed to be a night of just fun and everything but she was acting so mean about something that I clearly had no control anyways. So I ended up being mad at her for like 5/6 of the prom and had a miserable time. But one of my friends helped to make things up and stuff. The remaining 1/6, I apologized for being mad at her and she apologized for being mean and everything. So we were standing outside and I said stuff like "When you find the right guy, just tell him for me that he's a lucky guy and stuff" because I really blew my chance and I could never get it back. Then she was like "Hug?", so we did but the weird thing is that our heads kept getting in the way like when I was to the right, her head was there. So we kept moving but like on the third move, my chin got wet and Iím guessing it was from her mouth. The thing is, hugs usually donít turn into confusion and that maybe she was trying to give me a kiss but I never picked it up and she was trying to catch me, you know?
So like the following day, I had to go to her workplace and give back something but I also gave her like some food because I was sure she was hungry. Then the next night I called her again because I had a blackout out (:P). So SHE suggested that we hangout the next day which we did. I kind of tried to find out what happened about the hug by asking. She seemed to not know what I was talking abut and asked as her answer ďDid I punch you?Ē because I said something happened to my chin. I never really said what happened. But I mean she knew what the confusion was and there is like no way you can punch someone when you are hugging. And on that day she asked if we can go together in graduation rehearsal and stuff, which we did and she left her friends to follow me which I found strange. And not only that, but at graduation rehearsal, I was going to sit behind her but she was like ďI want you to sit next to meĒ, so then I did.
So beginning of summer we donít really see each other much but like she did have 4 days off and she called me one day to hang out but with a group of friends. I mean like itís nice of her to think about me but seriously, me and her friends arenít really that close so I donít see why she would even call me to hangout with them in the first place and stuff.
Then few days ago I went to her work place because I needed ice from her for my shoulder and I kind of wanted to see her. She decided to take a break to hang out with me and my friends for a while. She went away for a while to see one of her friends. But the thing is that like I didnít have to take her back but she walked all the way back to get me to walk her back to work. And along the way, we were like flirting again.
Whenever weíre both online, she IMs me first to talk and stuff but that always ends up bad because she takes FOREVER to talk back. So like why bother talking to me when the conversation is going to die anyways? After the whole breakup and the stupid confessions and all the rejections, she still tries to talk to me but there are SO MANY times that I can recall her just like pushing me away and wanting me out of her life in a sense. Itís SO confusing for me to figure this out. I mean I've done so much to make her just push me away. Iíve decided to not really initiate anything with her (like talk to her) but if she decides to talk to me, then Iíll talk back and stuff.
What has been going on? Should I try again? I know that I didn't give everything that I got to get her back and I kind of want to try again, but I know how it's going to turn out and yet I still keep coming back to this thought. We're not even going to the same college. I know I blew my chance when I was going out with her and I know I blew my chance of ever getting back with her and yet my mind keeps going back to her. And through all the stupid stuff, she still tries to talk to me.
P.S. Ė really sorry for such a long story:(
Instead of wondering and asking me to guess why not talk it out with her.
Have a long, honest, trusting, and caring discussion of where things stand with you two. Especially ask here why she is being so nice to you and that it makes you confused.
I don't think the outcome of the discussion will make you particularly happy since my guess is that she will say that she likes you as a friend and enjoys your company. And also she wants you to feel better by being nice to you.
But that doesn't mean she wants to get back with you.
On the other hand, she may be open to the possibility. Best way to find out is to have that conversation with her.
It is better to know than to wonder.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com