Dating Limbo - He Likes me but doesn't want to be my boyfriend.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
We met in March, started dating in April, and by his discretion we took things "slow" since he had a few really bad past relationships. It's nearly August now... and we seem to have gotten really close. He occasionally spends the night and while we keep our 'intimacy' at the above-waist level there is still sparks there. His friends even bug him pestering him if he considers me his girlfriend yet but he still vehemately denies it. Yesterday I confronted him because I feel I need some sort of definition... because we seem to "act" like boyfriend and girlfriend but he doesn't want to put the label. He says he's afraid of being hurt and hurting me... and that he wants to be able to always escape without consequences.

This seems like a very selfish sentiment.. not to mention I resent being compared to all the past women in his life. Is he "broken" or is four months too quick to ask for at least a little sign of hope that this relationship might be something worthwhile without being worried I'm going to be dropped like a rock?

The hardest thing is that I am very rare to really like a guy, I go years between relationships I'm so "picky" so to find one I like who is subsequently stupid is annoying. Advice
What surprises me is that, at your age and the length of your dating, you only have an above-waist relationship.

This could possibly be the reason he doesn't classify your relationship as bf/gf.

He sounds "iffy" in any case, but my advice is for you to initiate some below-waist activity.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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