Is she too jealous or am I really out for it
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I've been going out with my gf for about 5 months now, and though they've been the most wonderful 5 months of my life (she being my 1st love and everything ^_^) jealousy looks like a long term issue now. At first she wasn't (or didn't act) like a very jealous person, but lately we've been arguing a lot. I'm a people pleaser so usually I'll just stop whatever's making her jealous and it'll go away, but I fear it will be an issue that could eventually kill the relationship. To give you a little background, we're both very much in love, we spend every chance we get together, and we make sure to make one another feel loved and cherished, like saying how beautiful she looks, or give her flowers just because. We're both very like needy people i'm sure we'd spend every day together if we could, but where we go different on things is when we CAN'T be together, see, the way I deal with it because I don't like being alone and if i have time for myself I star missing her is: i call out friends and go out with them, and ONLY when i can't go out with her and yet, she get's jealous and they're not even girls, its a group of friends, girls might be there but it's not like I'm going out with a girl. Another thing were we differ is that I can always go out, but she on the other hand, her parents are a little more conservative so she has to ask for permission and so i think that maybe she's also jealous of me because while she has to be stuck on her house all night, i can go and have fun with my friends. I think she could be insecure that because she can't go out i'm gonna find someone that can ALWAYS go out like me, what should I do?? it seems completely irrational to me the way shes jealous of my time, not even girls, i'm a really unjealous person so some of my friends tell me it could be that I almost never feel jealous of her. Thanks for your time.
It's time to be straight with your g/f.
Tell her what you told me. Point out how you are eager to please her and that you are accepting of her jealousy usually.
But let her know that you are going to continue to go out with your friends. She cannot let her jealousy extend that far. Perhaps if you just deal it to her directly, she will be able to relate.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com