I'm Always Arguing
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I want to talk to you about what is going on with me and my boyfriend. I keep on picking fights with him, like I constantly get irritated at every little things he does. Last argument was about how he corrected my
English, when I was right. The last last argument was about how he never compliments me. It was stupid, and I felt really bad afterwards.
I am not a bitch by any means, but why do I keep on picking on him? I find it hard to be assertive when I talk to him when I am really angry at him. Is this what all couples go through? I want to stop it, and trust me I tried, but I find everything he does so irritating and if I just talk to him, he doesn't really listen, so I feel like I need to be angry with him which is the last thing I want to do!
Well, first it is NOT normal for you to constantly pick on and harass your boyfriend! That is a sure recipe for complete relationship breakdown. In most relationships the two people talk together if there's a problem and find a solution. It sounds like you are just nagging him to death.
Usually that sort of nagging is a symptom of something else being wrong. It's not the exact thing that you are nagging about - it's that something is *wrong* about the relationship and you just sort of focus on whatever is handy to express your frustration. So sit down. WHAT is wrong? What don't you like? Be brutally honest. Either you figure this out and find a way to fix it, or you guys will break up pretty soon when he's had it with your nagging.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com