Friend to Boyfriend-Girlfriend
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I like this girl in my high school and we are pretty good friends. We talk to each other now and then. We say 'hi' when we pass each other in the halls. We instant message to each other once in a while.
Except there are two problems. #1: She doesn't know I like her so how do I tell her & #2: I'm moving to a different state in about a year and I dont know about you but to me a year is pretty short. I just want to know, how to cope with moving and trying to get over her.
And another thing. Should I tell her that I like her? If so, how do I go about doing it? I'm a pretty shy and quiet boy and If I should tell her how I feel, how do I approach her?
And ONE MORE problem! (Gee i got a lotta problems ;) If I do tell her I like her more than just a friend and she says she doesn't like me more than just a friend, I just made a fool of myself and I coulda just ruined our friendship! Even though I've never experienced it, I KNOW I can ruin a friendship by asking her if she likes me because how will we approach each other after she knows how I feel? We can't just 'pretend it never happened' because we both know that it DID happen. Remember, I only have a year left at this high school and that could be really short. What can I do?
This is a very, very common situation and I have an entire how-to on going from friend to boyfriend-girlfriend:
the answer is NOT to blurt it out for the exact reasons you stated. Just take it slowly. Keep talking more, start doing things together. Build up that connection. Hug her when you see her. The closer you get, the more natural it will be to spend more time together, and soon you'll find you don't even have to tell her you like her, she knows it.
As far as moving, LOTS of people date long distance. It's not necessarily the end of the relationship! You both can easily go to college together and spend every waking moment with each other. So don't assume the relationship will end just because of a different high school for a while. Work on the relationship, and then see what happens.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com