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[Love is] to be two and at the same time one. --Sonya Levien

Am I really that horrible?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hi, me and my girlfriend have been going out for 9 great months, the best of my life and I've never felt better, but also, I have never felt more terrible. She has a temper and she knows that, but its her jealousy that's really the problem, she knows this also but when I try to explain it to her she just says that thats the way she is and she's not going to change and that she's already changed enough. I have changed drastically, my family and friends tell me that. This is because she forbids me to even talk or have fun with anyone but her, she doesnt even hang out with her good friends anymore and says I should be the same because she says "she doesnt need anyone else but me" and she cant understand why i need ti hang out with my friends. I know this is wrong, I want to find a way to tell her and not give in to her ways so that we can overcome this problem. She curses at me constantly, tells me she hates me, and now she says she's broken up with me every week. Things calm down eventually but then start back up again, I felt bad when I had to turn to my friend who i have not talked to in a while and ask him for advice, because i felt like i was disobeying my girlfriend, I felt like I had to talk to someone though, I was feeling the worst i have ever felt and suicidal. She claims that I ignore her whenever theyre around and I just dont think its true, I know she's exaggerating and I've asked my friends who were there at the time and even they agree with me. If my girlfriend finds out that ive been recently talking to my friends more and lying to her about them spending the night, I am screwed, because thats what above all, she hates. I need help someone tell me what to do, I've been getting more and more irritable with her lately and im sorry for that, she blames my irritabiltity on things such as lack of sleep, but when I tell her that its related to her, she just gets mad like she usually does and everything just explodes. This girl really is my only one, weve been planning our future together and I even gave up college for her. She also started claiming that she's loved past boys before even though earlier she said that she never has, even though after she calms down she takes it back again. She says im not good enough for her at times. I don't know what to do, help please.

RomanceClass.com Advice
If you stick with her you are going to be very miserable for the rest of your life.

You will be more miserable than you are now. And if you have children they will be miserable too.

The only possible solution is for her to get some long-term professional counseling to get her to give up her demanding, controlling, hurting attitude.

My strong advice is to call her today and tell her you are through with her and then stick with it. After the initial shock wears away, you will be living a happy life again. Keep in mind that she is the horrible one, not you.

And if you are truly suicidal, you should not be writing to strangers on the Internet like me, but you should seek medical assistance immediately.

My best wishes are with you! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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