She Keeps her Ex's Picture Around

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
my girlfriend has a picture of me on the mirror in her bedroom..but i noticed last night that she had a picture of her ex in a frame in her not sure how i should feel....becuz i dont even have my pic in a frame but his is....this is upsetting me... Advice
It is rather unusual for her to keep pictures of her ex lying around. I'm not saying they should be burnt or anything like that. We all definitely keep photo albums of our past that we treasure forever!! But her ex is in her past. What she promotes in her active life (puts on her desk and mirror etc) should be her current dedication - i.e. you.

You need to handle this delicately because it's rarely taken well when one person tells another to "stop thinking about person X". But you should sit down with her and have a quiet talk, and explain how much she is the main person in your life and the main focus of your time and affection. And then express that you would hope this is the same for her - that she wants to think about and remember you above all others. Explain that it's rather inappropriate, therefore, for her to be putting out pictures of an ex boyfriend. He is part of her past, to be kept in a photo album, but he shouldn't be up on her desk so she can remember him daily. She should be thinking about YOU daily - about the things you will do together, the fun you will have. To have a constant reminder of an ex is inappropriate.

It's like if he gave her a class ring while they were together. She would wear it as a sign of what their relationship meant to her. But if they broke up and YOU gave her your class ring, she should wear YOUR class ring. She shouldn't keep wearing HIS class ring, because his relationship was over. It is YOUR relationship she should be proud of and promoting.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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