Long Distance Love
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been dating this person for a while. Now he has been transfered to another country and will be leaving in six weeks. Ever since the news of his departure was conveyed to him, he has been trying to detach himself from me. He does have feelings for me but he is a commitment phobic. besides, as he is leaving in six weeks he thinks long distance relationship is not going to work out.
Recently, he has met a male friend (who is also interested in me and is trying to detach him from me). He does not seem sad that he will be leaving as this friend of his is keeping him entertained. He never really had any good male friends and my boyfriend feels finally he is able to have some fun with male friends which he always missed while with me he feels stressed out with emotional talks. He always runs away from problems and challenges.
I suggested to him that we talk about us and where our relationship is headed but he just does not want to talk about it as he tells me it stresses him out. He wants to meet me but doesnt want to talk about us. Please advise what i should do? I have deep feelings for him and dont want to lose him.
Long distance love is possible, but it requires a LOT of effort on both peoples' parts. If your boyfriend really does not want to put in that effort, then you need to accept that, even though it's sad. You can never force someone to be in a relationship. If he doesn't give his all, on his own, it just won't work.
It might be time to let him go, to accept that you care for him but that the circumstances just won't work out. You need to find someone that is willing to put in the time and effort to make things work, and it doesn't seem like it will be him.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com