stuck in the middle
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
for about 2 1/2 years i've been working with this guy that i got to know pretty well. Unfortunately he just got engaged a couple of months ago and the wedding is in november. one nite at 1130pm he called me out of the blue to "see what i was doing" that nite. we talked for a lil bit and then i ended up at his place. talked some more and ended up having sex. now for the past 3 months i've been going over to his place for sex. his fiance doesnt live with him. one of the problems is he.s 37 and i'm 20. i feel wrong about the whole situation, but i cant stop. we've agreed to stop after a certain date,but i have a feeling thats not going to happen. yes i know it takes 2 to let this situation happen but why is he doing this to his fiance? and how can i tell him we can no longer do this, without losing him as a friend?
Sorry you are in this situation.
Please consider your relationship with him as a short term one. It is good that you set a date, but you must really be firm about it. We all know how difficult it is to cut something like this off, especially after so much time.
Start looking for a new boyfriend. This may be the surest way to cut the cord with the other guy. And, find a friend with whom you can share your story. It will be easier to cut free if you have someone to encourage you.
Continuing on with your relationship is a sure way to ruin both of your lives. You may wish that the wedding could be called off, but apparently he wants to go through with it. If you love him, you will let him do it. But do not be intimate with him after your cutoff date.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com