Recently my boyfriend has really been getting on my nerves
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female Iíve been going out this guy for 7 months and at first things were perfect. Recently my boyfriend has really been getting on my nerves. I have been really stressed out with work and school, and my personal life in general. He is pretty understanding about only seeing me on the weekends, however, when I go over his house on the weekend, he is very irritating to me, and I feel like heís purposely trying to annoy me just for the sake of being annoying. He purposely interrupts me when Iím talking, or on the phone, and heís recently been poking me constantly, not just when we are playing. He does it when Iím sleeping, when Iím watching TV, eating, study and even when we cuddle. I tell him to please stop, and he continues to annoy me. After I get to the point where I snap at him, he tells me he cant tell if Iím just playing around or being serious with him. I tell him ďwhen I tell you to stop Iím not playing with you Iím serious, I donít like when you do that, even playing around, so please donít do it againĒ but we get in a fight about that every weekend.
Also, he is planning on moving 50 miles away from where my parents live and 90 miles away from where I go to school. At first I was ok with it, because he was going to get a big, 2-bedroom condo. I figured that I could just spend the weekends at his house. But now he changed his mind, and is buying a very small one-bed room apartment, that will defiantly not have enough room for me. Now I feel very upset about the whole situation, but at the same time, donít feel like we havenít been going out long enough to start basing life decisions around each other, and i dont really want to tell him what to do. I have hinted that I donít really want him to move, and it wouldnít be best, but whenever I talk about this, he gets really upset with me.
Do you think this is just normal stuff that a couple goes threw when they reach the 6 month point? I really care about him, and think I might love him, but do you think maybe the end of our relationship is near? How can I make things go back to the way they used to be?
RomanceClass.com Advice Poking fingers are a minor form of abuse.
They are also a way of getting attention. Maybe he thinks you don't give him enough attention or affection. Just a thought. You have taken the right step in telling him to cut it out.
The move is more perplexing. You don't say why he is moving but it certainly will make it more difficult for you two to be together. The apartment he wants to get should suffice for weekend visits, so wait and see how that goes.
His moving could be a big hint that he wants space. You need to have good gentle communication on this subject even though it upsets him.
Once he moves, the genie is out of the bottle and you are not going to be able to get him back in. So your priority is to convince him somehow that he would be better off staying nearer to you or move up to your college area.
Maybe he just needs to hear you say that.
Good luck! George
-- from George One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com