Lust, Love, and Friendship
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I have two questions actually....first off, what is the difference between lust and love...i'm confused on these two things....
Second thing....I think the guy i like may actually like me back, but i think he finds me unobtainable. A guy friend of both of ours once asked me out (as more of a friend thing and not a date thing) and on this outing he told me that when he told the guy i liked that he had asked me out, the guy i liked said "WEll good luck, she's a nice girl....but .....just good luck to you". On another occation another friend was joking around and said that the guy i like and i should hook up and the guy i like said "aww shes too good for me" ....i thought he was joking but now i've got the impression that he thinks i'm unobtainable for him which is so far from the truth. So how could i kindof give him a clue that i'm not unobtainable to him without just coming out and asking him (because that would be awkward).
I just put up some What Is entries for you on Lust and Love -
in short, lust is a strong desire to touch and look at someone that is short lived. Love is when you really know someone, understand them, accept the bad and good, and just want to BE with them and talk with them.
A lot of people suffer from low self esteem and it sounds like he's one of them. On one hand it's flattering to think he thinks that highly of you. On the other hand it can be REALLY frustrating when you keep trying to get this guy to be with you and all he can do is say "No, I'm not good enough, no, she will just leave me". That form of self esteem can really destroy a relationship because he will always be waiting - even when you get together - for you to "wise up" and abandon him.
So you need to work on his self esteem. Spend time with him, encourage him at what he's good at, help him see that he really does have traits you admire. The more he realizes that you guys can talk about things, can hang out and enjoy each other, the more he'll realize that you ARE a good team and worthy of each other.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com