She Wants to Be Free

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
OK THERES THIS GIRL RIGHT AND I BECAME HER FRIEND AND IM REALLY COMFORTABLE AROUND HER SHE KNOWS THAT I LIKE HER AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE LIKES ME TOO BUT WONT GO OUT WITH ME. I DOUNT KNOW WHY BUT SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD RATHER JUST BE FRIENDS BUT BE IN THE SAME RELATIONSHIP AS A COUPLE.

THEN I ASKED HER IF WE COULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE AND SHE SAID YEAH BUT SHE DOESNT LIKE ANYONE EXCEPT ME. SO I GOT UPSET AND TOLD HER TO JUST SAY THAT SHE DOESNT LIKE ME AND SHE SAID THAT SHE DID LIKE ME BUT SHE DOESNT WANT TO GO OUT WITH ANYONE.

IM VERY CONFUSED AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. SO PLEASE HELP ME

RomanceClass.com Advice
I think you're making some big assumptions here :) You assume that just because she LIKES you, she can't like someone else. Which is untrue! She is saying she doesn't want to go out with anyone - because she doesn't want to have to choose one and only one person. This is pretty common especially in the early years of dating. Dating is so much fun! Why tie yourself down to just one person when there are so many options! It's not necessarily that there IS someone else she likes. But just because you like a certain book, it's not the only book on your shelf. She wants to be able to do whatever she wants, without being "restricted".

Why does her having fun with dating mean she doesn't like you? She likes you. But she doesn't want to be chained down with you right now. She enjoys hanging out with you, but she enjoys hanging out with other people too.

If you really care about her, then treasure the time you spend with her, and have fun. She's not your possession. Maybe someday when she's older she'll be ready for really just dating one and only one person. But she's not in that frame of mind right now, and either you accept her friendship or you don't. But you can't change her.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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