Is time going to help?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My exboyfriend decided to break up with me about three months ago. The main reason was that he felt that we "didn't connect." He had a hard time getting himself across to me, and I had a hard time understanding him. When he suggested that we broke up, I cried and begged but he was very firm. I stopped begging for a while, and during the first month after he decided to leave, he would call me about once a week to chat. Then I said something that made him mad and he didn't call me anymore. So after about two weeks, I called and we talked again. I went to visit him about three weeks ago. At first he didn't want to see me, then the next day he emailed me and said it would be a good opportunity to see one another. So we went to get some coffee together, and had a nice and casual conversation. When I was getting ready to leave, he appeared sad and told me "don't go, not now." So I paused to see what he had to say. He said, "you know we won't see each other for a while now ... it was great that today happened." And he gave me a very strong and firm hug that almost hurt my heart. At that moment I really thought he missed me. But then, I went home and he didn't call again. I called him twice and we did have good talks. But I was getting really confused with his mixed signals. So I asked him on email whether he would give me another chance to get to know him better. Stupid me ... he wrote back and said he still liked the idea of us being friends and thought that would be the best. I am really heart-broken right now. I have read some self-help books and books about personality types, and I finally understand him -- now! It's too late, though. I want to tell him what I know about his inner world now, but I am also afraid of pushing him further away. I told him that some day I want to be friends again, but right now it's too hard. But I said I would welcome his email updates. He asked a common friend of mine whether he should stop contact with me or keep me posted with his updates. Then he answered the question himself and said he would keep me posted. I am thinking that I should not respond to him for a few months to give him a chance to miss me. What do you think about this? Is time going to help, or is it going to increase our distance even more? Thank you in advance for your help! Advice
If you really feel that you understand him now then don't stop talking with him.

Even though it is through email, you can use your new found knowledge to make him feel better about you.

Even if this doesn't work out, you are better off keeping in contact with him than not.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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Same thing
Leave him alone

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