why cant i get over the insecurities in the midst of social situations where i cant directly discuss it with him?Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i love my cousin who is younger than me. his mother passed away few years ago and i wanted to be there for him. but right from the beginning as there were some family issues between my family and his , i couldnt be there, and another cousin of mine was there for him and his sister. well i tried my best he is also aware of it. later i did all that i could do for him. as a result the family issues are to an extend resolved. all the while we grew close, but we have never told each other of our feelings, so even if i believe he has had feelings for me i cant be sure.
apart from that i joined a new job and kind of could not give my best to him, i believe my other cousin of whom i spoke about before likes him too(in the sence there was one insident when he had come to stay at my place and she was very angry, i wanted to go with him but he dint take me when he went to talk to her,he went and sorted it off, but from then on he is a bit changed. and after that she also seems a bit disturbed if he is being close to me) and he too cares a lot about her. i dont know to what extend its all about, but its just that i cant take it even if he says a simple thing to her or if she is going to his place. due to this i get jealous even if anyone tries to get close to him, i have truned possesive, which i hate. we cant talk about it openly cause i am in a country where social traditions dont allow for relations between first cousins and him being younger could also create problems between our families and i myself would not want to be a social outcast. so without talking to him, i m not able to find any other way to get over this doubt that i always seem to be burdened with. one more thing i m very scared of is that if he likes he i wont be able to take it, i love him too much for that. please help me, i want both my cousins to be happy and i dont even want to loose him. ther was a time when i trusted him blindly, it didnt even matter if someone flirted right in front of me with him coz i had reasons to trust him to that extend, and now i cant even seem to have ten persent of it. what should i do?
You live in a country where you aren't allowed to have a romantic relationship with your first cousin and there is also a problem with his being younger than you. You also don't want to be a social outcast.
This leads to the conclusion that you must turn your eyes elsewhere and leave your cousin to someone else. You just need the strength to do it. Sometimes you have to listen to your brain not your heart.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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